


The College Years

by amelespotamos



Series: My Love Is Better [4]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M, it almost fits, it started out about myungyeol and it continues to be about myungyeol, that's the best description i could come up with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-02 06:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5238101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amelespotamos/pseuds/amelespotamos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want to get an education, go to the library.” –Frank Zappa</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Start

**Author's Note:**

> They're in college, but not really doing a lot of college-related things.

“Are you still moping,” Sungjong asks the Myungsoo-shaped lump on the dorm bed. He toes off his shoes and drops onto his own bed.  


The Myungsoo lump shifts until a head peeks out of the blanket. "I'm not moping."  


Sungjong lets out a snort as he turns onto his side to look at his roommate. "It's been months since you guys broke up. If you’re still not over him why don’t you just tell him?”  


"He hates me. Again."  


"Well, you did dump him."  


Myungsoo whines at the (true) statement and pulls the blanket back over his head. He doesn't blame Sungyeol for hating his guts. He'd pretty much broken the older boy's heart when he'd told him it would be better for the both of them if they stopped seeing each other before Myungsoo started college. At the time, Myungsoo had felt like they should quit while they were ahead. He loved Sungyeol (still loves Sungyeol), but college is supposed to be about new experiences and finding yourself. It had seemed smarter to start it by himself. It's not that he didn't trust that they could stay faithful to each other. In the three years they were together he'd never felt the urge to even look at anyone else and he's confident Sungyeol hadn't either. Yet Myungsoo had thought about it over and over and he'd concluded that as much as it would hurt, they were still young. They still had so much to see and do and learn. They should be free to experience all of it. Sungyeol had understood the logic in all of that, but didn't think it had to be true for the two of them.  


Now after six months Myungsoo isn't so sure breaking up with Sungyeol had been a good idea. He misses Sungyeol; misses being with him. But unfortunately for him, Sungyeol has gone back to despising his existence. And he actually has a valid reason to this time.  


"You're still coming to watch Sunggyu's show tomorrow, right?"  


Myungsoo moves the blanket from his face at the question. "Is he gonna be there?" They both know who he means.  


Sungjong had been focused on his phone (most likely texting Howon), but he turns his attention to his friend. Myungsoo looks especially pitiful all bundled up on his bed. Sungyeol would be sadistically pleased to see the effect his absence has had on his ex-boyfriend.  


"That doesn't mean you can't still come," he says.  


Myungsoo sighs, not entirely convinced. "He won't want me there."  


"I want you there," Sungjong replies sincerely.  


The other falls silent at that, staring up at ceiling as he considers agreeing. He hasn't seen Sungyeol face-to-face since they broke up. The older boy has made it a point to avoid any interaction whatsoever with him. That's a feat considering their colleges are right next to each other. Sungyeol won't be happy to see him, but the other guys will be and that's all the reason he needs to go.  


"Fine," Myungsoo sighs, "I'll go."

  


 

The café is nearly crowded when Sungjong and Myungsoo finally arrive. The latter had hesitated at the door before his friend gave him a gentle nudge to go inside. Their friends (or maybe they're just Sungjong's friends now) are gathered around two tables. Dongwoo and Woohyun are at one while Howon and Sungyeol are sitting at the other. Myungsoo can only stare at the back of his ex-boyfriend's head as he gets closer. Even though he knows it won't happen, he still hopes Sungyeol might be just the slightest bit happy to see him.  


Dongwoo notices the two of them first, a gigantic smile stretching across his face. He jumps out of his seat and bounds over to them. The rib-cracking bear hug Myungsoo gets enveloped in prevents him from seeing Sungyeol's initial reaction. When he can finally breathe again, his eyes go straight to the other boy. As expected, there's a scowl on Sungyeol's face, but his gaze is fixed on Sungjong.  


"What the hell is he doing here?"  


Myungsoo drops his eyes to the floor. The brusque tone stings, reminding him of the last time Sungyeol had deigned to pay attention to him. He thinks about the comfort of his warm bed and fluffy blanket waiting for him back in his dorm room. No matter what Sungjong says this really wasn't a good idea. He should just leave now and save everyone from the tension.  


As if reading his mind, Dongwoo wraps an arm around Myungsoo's waist and leads him to sit with him and Woohyun. The older boys immediately start asking him questions and he tries his best to answer them. He knows that they're genuinely curious about how he's adjusting to college life, but he can also tell they're trying to deflect any of the awkwardness that's bound to crop up.  


"I invited him," he hears Sungjong tell Sungyeol. The way he says it leaves no room for Sungyeol to argue with him. That’s not to say he won’t try anyway.  


Dongwoo persuades Myungsoo to go with him to get something to drink, preventing him from overhearing anything his ex might've been about to say. Dongwoo's eyes are full of concern when he turns to Myungsoo. "So why did you guys break up," he asks after they've picked up their drinks. “I don’t mean to pry. I just…don't understand how things could end up like this. You two seemed really happy and in love. I tried asking Sungyeol, but he won’t say anything besides that you’re an idiot and I’m sure there’s more to it than that.”  


"No, that's about it." Breaking up with the person you love because you want them to be happy is a pretty dumb thing to do. In hindsight, Myungsoo wishes he hadn't been so stubborn. He pokes at the marshmallows floating in his hot chocolate. "I was a huge idiot and now he hates me, so go figure."  


Dongwoo wraps a comforting arm around his shoulders and gives him a soft smile. "I'm going to ignore the fact that you didn't actually answer my question because it sounds like you still want to be with him."  


Myungsoo sighs, his eyes drifting over to where Sungyeol's sitting. "Does it even matter now?"  


"Of course it does." Dongwoo's eyes are bright and Myungsoo thinks he sees the wheels turning behind them. "Then I can help get you guys back together. Please let me help you guys get back together."  


Before Myungsoo can say anything (preferably "hell no"), the lights dim slightly. He seizes the opportunity to get out of the conversation. "Oh, Sunggyu's about to start." Fortunately, Dongwoo lets him slip away.  


Unfortunately, he spends the rest of the night trying to convince Myungsoo of how perfect he is for the so-called job of reuniting him with Sungyeol.


	2. Chapter 2

_Plan_   


**Step 1. He can’t stand to be in the same room with you. Wear him down.**

 

Dongwoo is all seriousness as he outlines his plan to Myungsoo. (He's affectionately nicknamed it Operation Cupid.) They're sitting on Dongwoo's bed looking at the piece of paper on which the older boy had spent a Sociology lecture scribbling his master plan. His roommate is mostly likely in class since it’s two in the afternoon. But then again, Minseok has a tendency to disappear for hours to who-knows-where. Dongwoo's not too concerned either way, though.  


"What if I never get past the first step," Myungsoo asks. He'd listened to his friend's ideas quietly, knowing Dongwoo will do everything he can to make sure he and Sungyeol are happily together again. But he can't help thinking that this is all useless. "I can't force him to spend time with me. And what if he just ends up hating me more? How is this even supposed to work?"  


Dongwoo wraps an arm around Myungsoo's shoulders, bringing him closer. "It will work," he tells him confidently. "Because you two are meant to be together."  


"I guess we are," Myungsoo muses as he thinks back to how happy he had felt with Sungyeol. Seeing him smile, hearing him laugh, holding him close. He's such an idiot for thinking things would be better this way. "But aren't you and Amy meant to be together too?"  


Dongwoo hums and cocks his head to one side as he thinks. "Maybe. I like to think there's someone out there for everyone."  


"Then why did you guys break up?"  


"We didn't break up," he denies. "We just...aren't together...right now." Myungsoo looks unconvinced and starts to say as much, but he waves him off. "We're not here to talk about me," he says as he moves his arm from around Myungsoo and gets up from the bed. "Come on."  


"Where to?" Myungsoo stands up as well and pockets the paper with Dongwoo's plan after folding it into a small square.  


"To get started on step one." Oblivious to the panicked "now" that comes from the younger boy, Dongwoo links arms with him and practically drags him out of the room and down the hall to Sungyeol's dorm room. Unsurprisingly, Sungyeol slams the door in both of their faces.

 

  


_Blush_   


Howon's hand is warm around Sungjong's in the older boy's jacket pocket. It doesn't do much to stop the chill of late autumn, though. Sungjong pulls his scarf higher around his neck with his free hand, leaning ever so slightly onto the boy next to him.  


Howon keeps insisting on walking Sungjong back to his dorm whenever they meet after class. Whenever Sungjong tells him he's more than capable of getting himself home in one piece, Howon claims that he only does it because he likes how romantic it is. Sungjong is sure that's only one reason why.  


"How are things," Howon asks. His steps deliberately slow down as Sungjong's dorm comes in sight. "You know, your classes and stuff."  


Sungjong shrugs. "Everything's fine. Or at least not as hard as I thought it would be. I made some new friends and it helps that Myungsoo's my roommate. Why?"  


"No reason. Just...you know, you could tell me if someone was giving you a hard time and I could handle it for you."  


Sungjong nudges his boyfriend with his elbow, although he's more amused than irritated. "First, I can handle bullies myself. And second, this isn't high school. Nobody has time for that kind of stuff."  


Howon's hand tightens around Sungjong's briefly. "I know. You can handle anything. But I'm still allowed to worry about you, aren't I?"  


"Of course you can." Sungjong leans over to place a soft peck on the older boy's cheek. Howon's always been the most protective of him out of all of his friends. And as much as he grumbles about it, he's grateful that Howon cares about him so much. "You might have to get in line, though." Howon looks at him curiously. "Sunggyu, Woohyun, and Sungyeol already vowed to beat the crap out of anyone who tries to mess with me."  


Howon's breath comes out in small puffs of smoke as he laughs. "Well, there is one way for everyone to stop worrying about you." He might sound a bit nervous, but Sungjong can't imagine why.  


"What way is that?"  


"...Move in with me."  


Sungjong almost stops walking. He turns to look at the other boy with wide eyes. Howon stares ahead resolutely as he continues walking. His cheeks have turned a shade of red that has little to do with the cold wind blowing. "Y-you want us to live together?"  


Howon nods slowly, still avoiding his boyfriend's eyes. "It doesn't have to be right now, though. Like, next year or something we could, you know, get a place together. Unless you don't want to?"  


Sungjong drops his gaze down to the ground in front of him. He doesn't know what to say or think at the moment. "Um, can I...think about it?" They've finally reached the dorm. He pulls his hand from Howon's pocket and grasp.  


"Of course." Howon clears his throat and sticks his free hand into the other pocket of his jacket. This may be the most awkward they've been with each other since they met. "Take all the time you need."  


They stand in silence for a bit, unsure of what else to say, until Sungjong leans over to leave a kiss on the other boy's lips. "I'll call you later, okay," he says when he moves away. Howon nods in answer. Sungjong lingers for another moment before turning to go inside.

 

  


_Shh_   


The sound of Woohyun's voice jolts Sunggyu from the nap he hadn't even realized he was taking. Peeling his face off of the textbook he'd been using as a pillow, he looks around the dorm room for a moment before realizing the noise had come from his phone. His boyfriend had commandeered his phone and set the notification sound for texts from him to his gross attempt at being cute. It's incredibly embarrassing when Sunggyu's out in public and there's a sudden " _bbuing bbuing_ " coming from his pocket.  


**Open the door** , is the message he finds when he unlocks his phone. He cocks his head at the straightforward tone. Woohyun tends to sound sweeter (and a bit clingy) in his texts. The thought that this could be his boyfriend trying to be spontaneous and sexy passes through his mind. It is pretty late and it has been some time since they were together, but he wouldn't... They _couldn't_... But then again...  


Sunggyu shakes his head and drops his phone back on his desk before standing up from his chair. He pauses when he gets to the door, nervous about what he might find on the other side. His hesitance turns out to be unnecessary.  


Woohyun's standing in the hallway in a ridiculous pose with a stupidly cute grin on his face. Sunggyu stops himself from yanking the other boy into his room so no one else can see how dumb he is.  


"Which R.A did you bribe to let you up here this late," he asks instead.  


"Well, hello to you, too." Woohyun approaches him slowly, his hands held behind his back. "Usually people are a bit happier to see their significant other."  


Sunggyu's eyes fall shut as the other boy leans in to connect their lips. The kiss is short, but only because Woohyun moves away. He thrusts the bag he'd been hiding behind his back into Sunggyu's arms and squeezes past the older boy to get into the room.  


"I thought you'd still be up studying for midterms—"  


"Unlike some people I know," Sunggyu cuts in as he closes the door. He reaches into the bag and pulls out a to-go container. Woohyun continues as if he hadn't been interrupted.  


"So I went to the trouble of making you something to eat. I know how much you need food to function."  


"Most humans do."  


Woohyun rolls his eyes as he takes a seat on the bed. "Maybe I should just take my food and leave."  


"How can I be sure you actually cooked this," Sunggyu asks teasingly. He sits back down at his desk before opening the to-go container. The words "good luck" are spelled out in vegetables and it smells pretty good. "The last time you cooked for me, I'm pretty sure you burned the rice."  


"Hey," Woohyun balks. "That wasn't my fault. The rice cooker was ancient. And I did make this myself. Look, I even have the burns to prove it." He shows the other the back of one of his hands where there are a couple band-aids.  


Sunggyu puts down the container and reaches for his boyfriend's hand. "Did you want me to kiss it better?" At the younger boy's eager nod he raises his hand and presses his lips ever so lightly against the bandages. Tension fills up the silent room as he and Woohyun hold each other's gaze.  


"So I was reading some stuff," Woohyun starts slowly, finally breaking the eye contact.  


"Did you get it from Myungsoo? He might seem normal, but he's into some freaky stuff."  


Woohyun snorts. "No, not that kind of stuff—well, actually, I did read a couple, but that's not the point. Anyway, I was reading some stuff about stress relief and I thought since you're always working so hard, you might want to relax for a bit. You know, with me."  


Sunggyu thinks back to his earlier theory of the other boy having ulterior motives. Judging by the redness of Woohyun's cheeks, he must've been right. Logically, he decides that his next move is to get up from his seat and knock the younger boy over as he climbs onto his bed. He throws a leg over both of Woohyun's, drapes an arm across his waist, and tucks his head into the crook of his neck.  


"What are you doing?" Woohyun is still next to him, disappointment clear in his voice.  


"You wanted me to relax. This is how I relax."  


Sunggyu slips his hand under the hem of the other's shirt and trails his fingers across the soft skin of his stomach. Woohyun tenses at the touch, a soft gasp escaping his lips. Sunggyu raises his head to slowly kiss his way up from Woohyun's Adam's apple to his lips. His hand slides further up Woohyun's shirt as the two of them share deep kisses. Woohyun grabs onto Sunggyu's arm, his fingers pressing deep into skin.  


Sunggyu pulls away suddenly. "The food's gonna get cold."  


"Forget the food," Woohyun groans. He tries to pull the other boy down to reconnect their lips, but Sunggyu maintains his position.  


"But you made it."  


_Now he cares_ , Woohyun thinks with a roll of his eyes. "I'm sure it'll taste just as good when you reheat it in an hour." His eyebrows dip at the snort that comes from his boyfriend. "What?"  


"An hour? Do you really think it'll take that long?" Sunggyu's laugh is cut short when Woohyun pushes him away and moves to get off the bed. "Wait," he pleads as he takes a hold of the other boy's hand. "It was just a joke. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad." Woohyun doesn't resist when he pulls him closer. Or when he lightly kisses his cheek. "You're not mad are you?”  


"I should be." Woohyun lies on his side with his head propped on one hand. He doesn't look upset and Sunggyu takes that as a good sign.  


"But you're not, right?"  


When Woohyun purses his lips as if in thought, Sunggyu leans in for a quick peck. Woohyun tries to wipe the smile from his face. Sensing his weakness, Sunggyu kisses him again. Woohyun readily returns the kiss and pushes back until he's lying on top of the other boy. They stay like that for a bit, their mouths moving together. When they separate for air Sunggyu's hands find their way back under Woohyun's shirt and move along the smoothness of his lower back.  


"I feel so much more relaxed now," Sunggyu says with an exaggerated sigh.  


Woohyun smiles down at him. His lips are a tempting shade of red that are almost asking to be bitten darker. "Does that mean you're ready to go back to studying?"  


"There's still time," Sunggyu answers as he leans up to connect his lips with his boyfriend’s again.


	3. Chapter 3

_Awkward_  
**Step 2. Now that he doesn’t hate your face, get him to not hate the sound of your voice, too. Talk to him.**

 

Myungsoo refolds the paper with Dongwoo's plan and slips it back into his pocket. Step one has already been crossed out. It hadn't taken nearly as long as he'd thought it would. Dongwoo says that's definitely a good sign. That the next steps should be easy. Myungsoo's not so sure about that. Just because the others have been forgiving of how badly he screwed things up doesn't mean Sungyeol can be won over as easily.  


He's been walking around the convenience store where Sungyeol works for the past ten minutes picking up random items. He's supposed to find a way to get his ex to talk to him, as Sungyeol has yet to speak directly to him. Sungyeol keeps looking over at him as if he thinks he knows why he's there. By the time Myungsoo gets in line for the register, his arms are laden with more junk food than he necessarily wants. He decides if worst comes to worst he'll just talk about the weather.  


There's a girl checking out in front of him. She's smiling up at Sungyeol as she leans a hip against the counter. He returns the smile as he rings up her items, easily conversing with her. He seems oblivious to the way she tosses her hair over her shoulder or how she lets her fingers lightly graze his own as she hands him her money. She waves an overly sweet goodbye to him when she leaves that he returns in the politely cheerful way he'd been trained.  


Some things never change. Myungsoo approaches the counter with a smile on his face. He misses the weird look Sungyeol gives him as he drops his armful of junk food onto the counter.  


"What're you smiling about?"  


Myungsoo fumbles with his wallet at the question. That's the first thing Sungyeol's said to him in months. He looks over at Sungyeol slowly, almost not expecting him to really be looking back. Sungyeol's face is as curious as his question. He quirks an eyebrow when all Myungsoo does is stare at him. The younger boy tries his best to compose himself before answering.  


"I just... It seems like you still can't tell when someone's into you."  


Sungyeol's eyebrows dip in confusion. "Who's into me," he asks.  


"That girl just now."  


"She wasn't into me."  


"Yeah, she was. She was flirting with you." Myungsoo finds himself smiling at the cute pout on his ex's face. He forgets how things really are for a moment. "You were always like this. Some pretty girl would be smiling at you and batting her eyelashes and you'd say she was just being friendly." It feels a bit like they've gone back to when they were together.  


Sungyeol's smiling back at him, seemingly caught up in the moment as well. "There are a lot of friendly people in the world," he tries to defend himself. "But can you blame them? I mean, I would flirt with me if I could."  


Myungsoo brings a hand up to cover his mouth as he laughs. "I only blame them for trying to flirt with someone as oblivious as you."  


"Maybe I was only oblivious because I had someone like you—"  


His words cut off abruptly, reality dousing the two of them like a bucket of ice cold water. The smiles fall from their faces as they look away from each other. Sungyeol turns his attention to the forgotten items on the counter and starts scanning them. Myungsoo grips his wallet almost too tightly, guilt twisting around in his gut, as he stares at his feet.  


"Is this all for you," Sungyeol asks. His attempt at casual falls short. Awkwardness seeps in, making his words sound stiff and forced.  


Myungsoo makes a small noise in acknowledgement. He keeps his eyes focused on Sungyeol's hands as he bags everything until it's time to pay. The rest of his time in the store is a bit of a blur. He's sure he says goodbye to Sungyeol (and that the other says it back), but all he can think about is leaving as fast as he can. Maybe he'll go find Dongwoo or Sungjong; they'll let him cling to them as he whines about his life. He could really use that right now.

 

  


_Scarred_   


Sungyeol opens his door to a blank-faced Woohyun. His friend blinks at him for a moment before stepping into the room and enveloping Sungyeol in a hug. The taller boy freezes in the other's arms, utterly confused. "Did I miss something," he asks no one in particular. Of course, no one answers. He turns his head to look at his roommate. Jinwoon is focused on his laptop with his headphones in doing a perfect job of minding his own business. It seems Sungyeol's going to have to deal with whatever the hell is going on with Woohyun by himself.  


He half-drags Woohyun into the room and leads him to his bed. He peels the older boy off of himself and pushes him to sit down. Woohyun immediately lays down on his side and curls up into a ball. Sungyeol shakes his shoulder a couple times, but gets no response. He's about to poke him when his phone rings.  


"Yeah," he answers it curtly, his eyes never leaving his immobile friend.  


Sungjong's voice on the other end sounds breathless and only a touch frantic. "Have you talked to Woohyun recently? I've been trying to call him, but he won't pick up."  


"He's right here," Sungyeol says. He's starting to become worried, feeling like he's the last to know some terrible news. "He's not really doing any talking, though."  


A loud burst of air comes through the line as the younger boy lets out a sigh. "That's good—I mean that he's with you. Not that he's not talking. That's definitely not good."  


"Sungjong." Sungyeol ignores the whimper that comes from Woohyun at the name. He takes a seat on his bed and speaks slowly into the phone. "You're acting as weird as Woohyun. Can you tell me what's going on before I start to freak out?" There's a moment of silence before Sungjong heaves another sigh, this one heavy.  


"So Woohyun may have...accidentally...walked in while Howon and I were...you know, not decent."  


Sungyeol notices the nervous tremor in the other boy's voice first. The words sink in after that and he sags from relief. "Oh, thank God. I thought it was something serious."  


"How is this not serious?" The phone picks up Howon's voice in the background trying to calm his boyfriend down. The effort seems to be in vain judging by how not calm Sungjong continues to sound. "This is, like, the worst thing ever. It might as well have been my parents that walked in."  


Sungjong freaking out about anything is a rare sight (well, sound in this case). And it's made even better knowing why. It brings a small smile to Sungyeol's face. "At least now you know to lock the door next time," he says.

 

  


_New_   


"I'm not the only one seeing this, right?"  


Sungjong and Dongwoo have just arrived at the café that's become the meeting spot for the seven of them. They're supposed to be meeting Sungyeol and Myungsoo to study for finals, but the scene in front of them is almost unreal. The two exes are sitting side-by-side at a table with their heads bowed over the same book. Myungsoo nods as Sungyeol explains something to him. There's no sign of awkwardness (or open hostility on Sungyeol's part) between the two of them.  


"I kinda feel like we shouldn't disturb them," Dongwoo replies in a whisper even though they're still a good distance away from the other two. It doesn't seem to matter, though, considering Sungyeol and Myungsoo are only focused on each other.  


Sungjong pulls out his phone and turns on the camera. "Let me at least get one photo first." Howon probably wouldn't believe him otherwise. Just as he goes to take the picture, Myungsoo looks up and catches sight of his two friends. "Aw, you ruined it," Sungjong says as he puts down the phone.  


Sungyeol looks up as well, his eyes going to the phone Sungjong's putting back in his pocket. "What are you doing?"  


"Shouldn't we be asking you that," the younger boy sends back. He and Dongwoo finally take their seats at the table, dropping their heavy book-bags at their feet. Sungyeol glares at him across the table while Myungsoo drops his gaze down to the book in front of him.  


"Isn't it obvious," Sungyeol asks coolly.  


"Almost painfully."  


Dongwoo snorts at the statement. Sungyeol's probably the only one who can't see it. He acts nonchalant about his new friendship with Myungsoo. As if he hadn't been heart-broken over the younger boy and hating his guts for the past few months. But Sungyeol is quick to dodge questions about his feelings for Myungsoo whenever Dongwoo or anyone else tries to ask.  


Sensing the embarrassment of the two boys in front of him, Dongwoo decides to change the subject. "Oh, Myungsoo, you wanted help with Biology, right?"  


"Actually..." Myungsoo's tone is apologetic as he looks over at his friend. "Sungyeol said he'd help me... We already started going over the stuff."  


"Don't worry about it," Dongwoo tells him easily. He and Sungjong exchange a knowing look. They might as well have not come; clearly they’re just getting in the way. It really is painfully obvious.

 

  


_Want_   


"Hey, keep your hand still."  


Myungsoo suppresses a smile as Sungyeol reaches out to still the fingers the younger boy had started tapping against the table. The first couple of times had been unintentional, just him forgetting that he's not supposed to move the hand that his ex is trying to sketch. But after Sungyeol had reached out to still his drumming fingers, Myungsoo decided to see how many times he could get Sungyeol to hold his hand. He can hear Sungjong's voice in his head telling him how desperate and pitiful that is and he can only agree. Because he _is_ desperate and pitiful.  


As great as it is to have Sungyeol look at and talk to him again, to be considered a friend, he still wants more. It's selfish of him to want Sungyeol to take him back and for things to go back to how they used to be. He shouldn't expect his ex to just forgive him after how much he hurt him. He's still following Dongwoo's plan, which has been surprisingly successful. It's not that he doubted his friend; he trusts that Dongwoo knows what he's doing. It's more like he didn't expect Sungyeol to be as receptive (albeit unknowingly) to the plan as he seems to be. Myungsoo had thought the older boy would hold on to his anger longer. But now they're something like friends. Which is a fairly new concept for them considering they pretty much skipped over it when they first started dating. It gets awkward at times when they forget where the line between friends and boyfriends is (well, Myungsoo forgets; he can’t say the same for Sungyeol). For now Myungsoo's content to have Sungyeol touching him as innocently as he is and looking at him with almost fond exasperation.  


"I'm starting to think you're doing it on purpose."  


Myungsoo rests his chin on his free hand and leans forward in his seat. "Well, you did say this wouldn't take long," he says with a slight pout. Sungyeol's hand is still warm on top of his and he futilely hopes it doesn't leave.  


The older boy scoffs, laying the sketchbook he'd been using down next to his forgotten pencil. "It hasn't even been an hour. And I bought you food so you shouldn't even be complaining."  


"Oh right, you bought me a muffin. _Please_ take all the time you need." Myungsoo smiles despite his sarcastic tone. He's always liked this part of their relationship, even more so than the sappy romantic stuff. In a way it's kind of their version of that.  


Of course, Sungyeol is offended. "A very expensive muffin. And it's not my fault that your hands are so tiny it's hard to get all the details."  


"I'm sure everything looks tiny compared to those gigantic paws of yours."  


"Hey, you—" He stops speaking as a chair is pulled up to their table and Woohyun sits in it. There's a moment of silence as Sungyeol and Myungsoo turn to look at him and Woohyun obliviously sips at his latte.  


"Oh, you don't have to stop because of me," Woohyun says when he finally notices the silence at the table. "You guys can keep doing, uh, whatever the hell you were doing before I got here." He raises an eyebrow at their hands that are still connected.  


To Myungsoo's disappointment, Sungyeol pulls his hand away. He picks up his sketchbook and pencil and puts the "serious artist" look back on his face (at least, that's what Myungsoo calls it). "Keep your hand still," Sungyeol tells him quietly.  


Myungsoo glares at Woohyun for the short amount of time it takes Sungyeol to finish sketching. Not that Woohyun notices.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is as angsty as I can get. Which isn't very much actually.

_Talk_  
**Step 3. He‘ll look at you and talk to you. Make it count.**

 

It takes Sungyeol fifteen minutes to get from his dorm room to Sungjong's. He's panting like a dog by the time he reaches his friend's door, sweat beading on his forehead. He raps twice on the door before leaning forward with his hands on his knees. Why do colleges have so many stairs?  


The door opens to reveal Sungjong, looking not even the least bit distraught. "You got here fast," he says in surprise.  


Sungyeol looks up at the younger boy. He's just managed to get his breathing under control. "You said it was an emergency."  


"I did, didn't I?"  


Alarm bells start to go off in the older boy's head. Sungjong has that calculating look in his eyes that can't mean anything good. "What am I doing here," he asks suspiciously. He gets a (definitely evil) smile in return as the other pulls him into the dorm.  


Dongwoo waves at him from his comfortable position on the couch, but Sungyeol doesn't get a chance to question his presence. Sungjong has their arms linked and is mostly-dragging him through the living room. The older boy can only follow along dumbly, his confusion winning over his suspicion. They stop in front of the bathroom door where the muffled sound of running water can be heard. The alarm bells become even louder when Sungjong knocks on the door. The water shuts off and a few seconds of silence follow before the lock clicks and the door opens.  


"I'm almost—" Myungsoo nearly chokes on his words at the sight of Sungyeol standing arm-in-arm with Sungjong. His hands fly up to cover his chest in a show of modesty despite the fairly revealing boxer briefs he has on. (Even in his equally shocked state Sungyeol still mentally rolls his eyes. It's not like he hasn't seen everything already.)  


Sungjong finally releases Sungyeol so he can cross his arms. "So, I hope you both know why you're here," he tells them with a condescending smile.  


"Not exactly," Sungyeol retorts. But he's starting to get an idea. His friends seem to have it in their heads that there's something going on between him and Myungsoo. Just because he's been nice to Myungsoo. Aren't exes allowed to talk to each other and be friendly? Dongwoo and Amy are still friends.  


Myungsoo stands in the doorway with his chest still covered. His surprise has subsided to make way for apprehension. He glances at Sungyeol briefly before fixing his gaze on Sungjong.  


"Well, Dongwoo and I were talking," Sungjong says conversationally. Sungyeol's starting to think he's enjoying this way more than he should. "And we realized that you're both too stupid and stubborn to see what everyone else can."  


Dongwoo chooses then to make his presence known. He slings an arm over Sungyeol's shoulder as he joins the conversation. "For the record, I only said you were stubborn."  


"But you agreed that they were also stupid," Sungjong states and the shorter boy ducks his head guiltily. "Anyways, the point is what you guys need is to be steered in the right direction. A good push, actually. Because it's great that you're friends again, but you haven't talked about what that means for either of you. So you guys have to sit down and really talk and make sure that you're both on the same page. And we're happy to help you with that." He smiles when he's done, like anything he's saying makes sense.  


A quick look at Myungsoo's face tells Sungyeol that the other boy is following what's going on. That leaves Sungyeol as the only (reasonable) one left who doesn't see the need for any of this. "I know you guys thinks there's something between me and Myungsoo, but we're really just friends. That's it." He misses the pained look that crosses his ex's face at the statement. "So we don't have anything to talk about. Can I leave now?" He tries to slip out from under Dongwoo's arm, but he tightens his grip on Sungyeol's shoulder to keep him in one spot.  


Dongwoo exchanges a look with Sungjong before turning his eyes to Sungyeol with a mixture of frustration and fondness. "This is why you're so stupid," he sighs. "You just assume that's how you both feel."  


"What are you—" Sungyeol doesn't get to finish his sentence. Dongwoo pushes him toward Myungsoo, catching him off guard. The other boy is caught by surprise as well and barely manages to steady the two of them when Sungyeol crashes into him. The door slams shut just as they regain their balance. Sungyeol immediately rushes to the door. The knob turns, but the door itself doesn't budge. When he pushes at it with his shoulder and nothing happens he bangs his fist on it.  


"Guys, this isn't funny," he yells at the piece of wood in front of him. "Open the door."  


Sungjong's voice comes through, muffled but still commanding. "It's not a joke and we're not letting you two out until you sort things out."  


Sungyeol stares at the door, his brow creased. Why do they have to talk? What is there to say that hasn't already been said? He turns around to ask those same questions to Myungsoo, but stops when he sees the other boy standing only a couple feet away. He seems to have forgotten that he's only wearing underwear as he twists his hands in front of him and stares down at the floor.  


"Do you mind," Sungyeol asks. He's not actually opposed to Myungsoo's lack of clothes, but it is incredibly distracting. Myungsoo's eyes go wide once he realizes what Sungyeol's asking and he hurries to find something with which to cover up. (Sungyeol might or might not subtly check him out as he does.) In the end, Myungsoo drapes a towel across his shoulders and wraps the ends around his legs that he pulls up to his chest as he sits on the toilet seat. Myungsoo's hair sticks to his forehead where it's still a little damp and his eyes are round as they hold onto Sungyeol's. The older boy allows himself to think that Myungsoo looks cute like that. That natural cuteness had always been a big weakness of his when it came to Myungsoo. (It still is, actually.)  


Tamping down the urge to go over to the younger boy and wrap his arms around him, Sungyeol breaks the silence that had settled over them. "Dongwoo said that I was assuming we feel the same." He clears his throat before continuing. The already small bathroom feels even smaller suddenly. "Is he right?"  


Myungsoo bites his lip as he looks away. He's quiet for a bit, most likely deciding on the best way to say whatever it is he wants to say. "I think we're friends, too," he starts slowly. "And I'm happy that we are...but... I don't want that to be it for us." His eyes finally go back to Sungyeol's, as intense as they are sad.  


"What are you talking about?" Sungyeol knows what Myungsoo's trying to say, but he wants to hear the words. The ones he'd wanted to hear months ago. He feels differently now, though.  


"I...still want to be with you."  


Sungyeol's legs feel stiff as he walks over to lean against the sink. He'd thought he was prepared to hear those words. He'd gone through the scenarios in his head endlessly. Yet now that he's actually hearing it, it knocks the breath out of him. He takes a moment to breathe. "Am I supposed to come running to you now?"  


Myungsoo looks away again, shaking his head. "I don't expect you to. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I really am an idiot." There's a sniffle at the end and Sungyeol has to grip onto the sink's edge to keep from going to him.  


"What do you mean?"  


"Oh, you wouldn't know, would you?" Myungsoo lets his legs drop down to the floor and moves the towel to cover his lap. "Dongwoo figured out that I still wanted to be with you and he's been trying to get us back together."  


"That explains all of this," Sungyeol says as he gestures vaguely at the room.  


"He thinks we're meant to be together."  


"And you don't?"  


"Do you?"  


They both fall silent, looking at anything but each other. Sungyeol thinks about how he could answer that question. He'd be lying if he said no, but a yes wouldn't be completely true. "If this was a few months ago I think I'd know how to answer that," he says carefully.  


"And now," Myungsoo prompts.  


"Now..." Sungyeol only shrugs when no other words come to him. This is why he’s been avoiding talking about his feelings. It’s all so complicated. Sometimes he doesn’t even know how he feels. He sighs, the air pushing its way out of his lungs to add to the heaviness in the room. “I like what we have now. I like being friends with you. And I don’t want to rush into anything—well, rush _back_ into anything, I guess.” There’s no hiding the hope in Myungsoo’s eyes. Sungyeol hates to dash it in anyway, but he has to be honest right now. “So even though I do want to be with you, I think we should start over as just friends and see where we end up.”  


Myungsoo nods to himself as he thinks it over. “…Okay,” he says as he stands. He fixes the towel around his waist and gives Sungyeol a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Let’s do that.”  


Sungyeol returns the smile with even less sincerity. He knows it’s his call, but he can’t help feeling guilty. “I know it’s not what you want—”  


“It doesn’t matter what I want.” Myungsoo takes a step closer. His hands grip onto the towel as if he’s stopping himself from reaching out. “I’m fine with whatever you want.” He smiles that same fake-smile. “Really.” That brings the end of the conversation as he goes over to the door to call out to Sungjong and Dongwoo.  


Sungyeol stays leaning against the sink even after the door is opened and Myungsoo leaves.

 

  


_Cheers_   


_Is he doing this on purpose? He must be. Does he have to be so shameless about it? Even I'm not like that. I didn't bring him here to drape himself all over anyone who smiles at him._ Sungyeol's internal rant is interrupted when he realizes his cup is empty. He tears his eyes away from Myungsoo to look longingly toward the kitchen. He'd get up to get another drink if that didn't mean letting the younger boy out of his sight. He's aware that his ex can take care of himself (Sungjong has told him enough times), but he also reasons that as an experienced upperclassman he should look out for his friend. Because he and Myungsoo are friends. And that's what friends do.  


Sungyeol hadn't thought Myungsoo would be up for going to some random senior's end-of-semester off-campus house party. He's not the bookish type, but he's not exactly the go-out-and-party type either. Yet Sungyeol's been watching him drink whatever's being handed to him and become increasingly handsy with some group of boys the Sungyeol's never seen before. Even girls are flocking to him, pressing close in their tight clothes and trying to lure him into dancing with them. Sungyeol gives silent thanks to whatever higher power that might exist every time Myungsoo turns them down.  


Just when Sungyeol thinks the other boy can't possibly be anymore audacious, Myungsoo starts laughing that obnoxious laugh of his where his jaw looks like it’s come unhinged and he claps his hands like a seal. He leans onto the boy next to him, draping his arms around his friend's shoulders while a couple more giggles come out. As he's recovering from what Sungyeol figures must've been the most hilarious joke ever told, Myungsoo fans his cheeks. Normally, Sungyeol finds the action immensely cute, but at the moment he only feels the urge to stalk over there and tell everyone to back off. (The conversation he'd had with Myungsoo in the bathroom is momentarily forgotten.) Instead he heaves himself up from the couch and weaves his way through the crowd of mostly-intoxicated students to the kitchen. If he makes himself sit and watch his ex for another second he might do something incredibly stupid.  


Someone calls out to him when he enters the room. When he looks for the source he finds Dongwoo and Sunggyu sitting at the table. They're probably the only sober ones at the whole party. Sunggyu just doesn't feel like drinking. Woohyun had asked him why he even bothered coming and his boyfriend had told him it was because someone needed to keep an eye on him. Dongwoo, on the other hand, has to meet Amy at the airport in the morning and doesn't want to be hungover. (Contrary to popular belief, they really are still together; apparently Dongwoo's never heard of the term "long-distance relationship".)  


"How's Myungsoo," Sunggyu asks as Sungyeol joins them. He and Dongwoo aren't even bothering to hide their amusement.  


Sungyeol scowls at them. "I don't know what you're talking about." His friends give him judging stares from across the table, seeing right through his lie. The last thing he wants to do is admit that they're right. "Whatever," he sniffs. He looks at Sunggyu as he changes the subject. "Where's Woohyun anyway? I thought you were watching him."  


The older boy shrugs and takes a sip from his water bottle. "He's around. Unlike some people, I don't need to watch him like a hawk."  


Sungyeol sticks his tongue out at him while Dongwoo laughs. He tries to change the subject again. "What about Howon and Sungjong? They ditched me as soon as we got here."  


"They're somewhere," Dongwoo answers this time. "But probably three feet apart if Woohyun's anywhere near them."  


Sunggyu makes a surprised noise as he looks at his watch. "You should go check on Myungsoo. You've left him unattended for six minutes already. Who knows what he could be up to?"  


"Why do I have such terrible friends," Sungyeol asks with a sigh. He pushes his chair back from the table and stands. "If you guys are gonna be like this I'm gonna go find some actually fun people to hang out with." The upperclassmen are unfazed. It's not until he's just left the room that Sungyeol realizes that he never got the drink he'd gone into the kitchen to get. His disappointment is quickly forgotten once he takes a look around the living room and sees that Myungsoo isn't there anymore. He tries to appear casual as he passes through the rest of the rooms on the first floor in search of his ex-boyfriend. Some of his other friends approach him, distracting him briefly. He can't find Myungsoo anywhere and ends up back in the living room. A sense of dread fills him as he looks at the staircase leading up to the second floor. Second floors mean bedrooms and bedrooms are really only used for one thing at house parties. The idea that Myungsoo might have just stepped outside doesn't even occur to him.  


By the time he reaches the top of the staircase, he still hasn't managed to chase away the nagging feeling that he's going to regret going up there. The hallway leading to the bedrooms is straight ahead, but Sungyeol doesn't even get the chance to walk that way. He hears a couple voices coming from a room on his left. Even though it's slurred and whispered, he would recognize Myungsoo's voice anywhere.  


He approaches the open door slowly, his heart hammering in his chest. It feels like it stops when he reaches the doorway. Myungsoo and whoever he's with have stopped talking and moved on to something worse. Myungsoo is pushed up against the sink with the other guy's shirt bunched up in his hands. Sungyeol can't see who the guy is with the way their faces are angled, but he doesn't really care because it's obviously not him. He'd thought that nothing could hurt more than Myungsoo breaking up with him. But this is so much more painful. It physically hurts to see Myungsoo kissing someone else. To know that he wants to kiss someone else. The fact that the younger boy is fairly drunk is only a minor consolation. He might regret his actions the next day if he remembers them.  


Sungyeol turns away from the scene in front of him feeling sick to his stomach. He can't stand being in the house anymore. Everything's too loud and too strong and just too much. No one stops him as he leaves and he's grateful for it. He wants nothing more than to curl up under his covers and pretend like this was all a terrible dream.

 

  


_Present_   


Sungyeol wakes up to his dog's warm tongue licking his face. He pushes Nurungie away as he sits up, squinting from the sun coming in through his window. It's been a week since he came home for winter break and he's spent most of that time catching up on all of the sleep he'd missed. Nurungie settles down on his lap and he automatically starts petting her. He yawns, wanting to go back to sleep but knowing he's too awake to be able to.  


"Are you awake yet?"  


Sungyeol freezes at the unexpected voice. He looks up to see Myungsoo standing at his bedroom door. He's all bundled up with a big scarf threatening to cover up his entire face. The tip of his nose and the tops of his ears are still pink from being outside, making the rest of his skin look much paler. "Daeyeol said I could come up," he explains when the older boy only stares at him.  


That seems to spur Sungyeol's brain into action. It's mostly so he can think of ways to kill his younger brother and get away with it, though. He gently takes Nurungie off of his lap and gets out of bed. Thankfully, he'd gone to bed in a pair of sweatpants instead of his usual boxers. Things have been awkward between the two of them since the party. Although he's the one who's been acting weird, Sungyeol feels like Myungsoo's also responsible. They haven't talked about what happened at the party, but that's only because Sungyeol hasn't told Myungsoo that he saw him kissing someone. He can't think of any way to bring it up and Myungsoo seems like he'd rather forget about it. That's kind of a win-win, isn't it? And yet...  


"Can you give me a minute," Sungyeol asks. It's only partially because he doesn't want to talk to Myungsoo with his morning breath. He doesn't wait for Myungsoo's answer as he hurries past him.  


In the bathroom he takes a bit longer than he has to brushing his teeth and washing his face. It's like he's gone back to avoiding being in the same room as his ex. Or maybe it's more like before they started dating when he could hardly look Myungsoo in the eyes. Except now the feeling he's trying to hide is hurt rather than affection. And he hates it; he hates that everything's become so complicated and it's so hard to talk about it. He's always tried to be honest. He prides himself on it and would hate for anyone to think otherwise. So he should be honest now and tell Myungsoo that he knows.  


He takes a couple of deep breaths, steeling himself, as he looks at his reflection. When he gets back to his room, Myungsoo is sitting on his bed with Nurungie in his arms. He’s taken his scarf off and unzipped his coat. The dog is lying in the crook of one arm while he slowly runs his nails across her stomach. She's obviously having the time of her life, but all Sungyeol can see is the smile on Myungsoo's face that brings out his dimple. He watches the other boy silently for a moment before making his presence known.  


"She doesn't stay that still when I do that," he says as he walks over to his bed. He keeps a bit of distance between them when he sits, but the other doesn't seem to notice.  


Myungsoo looks over at him with the smile still on his face and Sungyeol starts to relax. "Maybe she just likes me more. Actually, she might be the only one in your family who likes me now." He's laughing about it, but Sungyeol can tell it hurts him.  


"I like you."  


"R-right. You, too." They both go quiet. The sounds of Sungyeol's family moving about downstairs come in through the open door. Sungyeol opens his mouth to ask why the younger boy came over, but Myungsoo beats him to it. "Oh yeah, I came because I wanted to give you something." He places Nurungie on the floor and reaches into an inner pocket in his coat. He pulls out a rectangular gift-wrapped box with a bow on top. It’s long and flat like a box for a necklace except it’s wider. "I know Christmas isn't for a few more days," Myungsoo says. "But I couldn't wait until then. So..." He holds the gift out to Sungyeol who accepts it slowly. His eyes stay focused on Sungyeol's face as he unwraps the present.  


Sungyeol carefully peels off the wrapping to reveal what looks like a pencil case. It's made of wood that's been stained black, the shine on it making it seem too expensive to touch. He hesitates before opening it and throws a sideways glance at the boy next to him. Inside the case is a set of paintbrushes. The handles are the same black as the case and the bristles perfectly untouched.  


"How...?" Sungyeol looks over at Myungsoo. He doesn't even know what to say, the thoughtfulness of the gift rendering him speechless.  


"It's nothing, really," Myungsoo shrugs. "I thought of you when I saw them and I felt like you should have them. I know you already have your own, but it doesn't hurt to have more, right?"  


Sungyeol looks back down at the brushes. He doesn't think he could bear to dirty them with paint; they look too perfect to use. "This must've cost a lot. And I didn't even get you anything."  


The bed shifts as Myungsoo moves closer to him. "It was worth it." His voice is soft and Sungyeol doesn't even have to look up to know he's smiling. "And I wasn't expecting you to get me anything, so don't worry about it."  


"But still..." He shuts the case and puts it next to him on the bed. "I'll feel bad if I don't give you anything. What do you want? And don't tell me you don't want anything because I won't let you leave until you pick something," he says when Myungsoo starts to protest.  


The younger boy looks conflicted at first, still wanting to refuse the offer. But then it's like a lightbulb turns on above his head. "Can it be whatever I want," he asks slowly.  


"I'm afraid to say yes."  


Myungsoo rolls his eyes, the corners of his mouth pulling up slightly. "It's nothing weird. I just—" He breaks off to close the distance between them and wrap his arms around Sungyeol's torso and rests his chin on his shoulder. Sungyeol stiffens at first, caught by surprise, but then he relaxes. His arms come up to hug Myungsoo back. They sit in each other's arms for a while. Sungyeol finds it weird but familiar. They haven't been this close since they broke up. He's still not one for touching, but he can admit that he's missed this. Holding each other just for the sake of it; being together.  


He realizes that he doesn't care about what happened a week ago. Because Myungsoo's with him now and there's no denying that the younger boy wants him; that he loves him. And he loves Myungsoo too. He just hopes Myungsoo knows that and understands why he's not ready to be with him yet.


	5. Chapter 5

_Date_   


"It's official," Myungsoo sighs, "We've been set up." He stretches an arm across the table to show Sungyeol the text he'd just gotten from Dongwoo. He figures they should've been more suspicious of their friend when he'd suggested the three of them have dinner together for Valentine's Day. They had been the only ones without plans and Dongwoo thought they might as well hang out together. Myungsoo really doesn't know how he didn't see it coming. The table for two in a fancy restaurant, the nice clothes, the lack of Dongwoo; it's incredibly obvious now.  


"And you had nothing to do with it?"  


Despite Myungsoo's best efforts to convince him, Sungyeol doesn't fully believe that he's not still plotting with Dongwoo. But the younger boy really has given up on their plan. (Clearly that's not stopping Dongwoo.) Myungsoo's new plan is to win Sungyeol over through patience. He's willing to wait until the older boy is ready to be with him again.  


"Nothing at all," Myungsoo affirms with a shake of his head. "If I wanted to take you out I wouldn't bring you to a place like this."  


Sungyeol raises an eyebrow. "You wouldn't?" He leans his elbows on the table and rests his chin in his palms.  


Myungsoo shakes his head again. "You're not the wine-and-dine type. You like simpler things. Like, going to the movies, walking around and holding hands, or just staying inside and hanging out. As long as it's comfortable. Plus, this place is way too expensive for me," he leans in to add in a whisper.  


"Does that mean I have to pay?"  


"Can I call it a date if you do?" He smiles playfully as the other boy flushes.  


Sungyeol breaks eye contact, looking around the restaurant instead, and clears his throat. "Where's the waiter? Don't all fancy places have waiters?"  


As the night goes on, Myungsoo realizes that Dongwoo is probably a genius. Their table is in a secluded corner away from the chatter of the other guests. And with the soft lighting it feels awfully romantic. Myungsoo thinks it can be considered a date, but Sungyeol disagrees. They go back and forth about it, reaching an impasse when Sungyeol tells him that he'll call it a date if Myungsoo pays for everything. Myungsoo doesn't have enough money for the two of them, but he doesn't want to lose either, so they agree to disagree.  


Myungsoo openly flirts with Sungyeol, shamelessly giving him dimpled smiles and what are hopefully bedroom eyes, and the latter sometimes flirts back. Everything is relaxed between them. Their smiles, the conversation, what little bit of touching Sungyeol allows; it all comes easily. A few months ago Myungsoo wouldn't have thought the two of them could be together like this, joking and teasing and flirting. That they could be close again. But they are and Myungsoo can't be happier for it. (Well, he'd be happiest if Sungyeol took him back, but he can accept what they have now.)  


They end up splitting the bill, but Myungsoo still insists it be considered a date. As they walk back to their dorms, shoulders close and steps in sync, it's silent but comfortable. It's enough to just be in each other's company. Myungsoo doesn't think anything of it when the other boy's hand brushes against his briefly. But then it happens again. And again. Sungyeol's face gives nothing away when Myungsoo looks over at him, but his hand moves to rest against Myungsoo's. The younger boy looks down at their hands then back up at Sungyeol. He joins their hands slowly, waiting for a response from his ex. There's nothing save for a short squeeze that flips Myungsoo's stomach in the best way. He doesn't bother to hide the grin stretching across his face.  


"Do you think I could hang out with you for a bit," he asks, resisting the urge to swing their entwined hands. "I'm pretty sure Sungjong brought Howon back to the room and I don't need to be traumatized like Woohyun."  


Sungyeol hesitates for a second. Probably because he has so far avoided letting Myungsoo into his room. (Myungsoo's not supposed to have noticed, but he understands the reason for it.) "I guess so... Jinwoon won't mind."  


They fall back into silence. The night is cold, making Myungsoo savor the warmth of Sungyeol's hand in his even more. He wants to lean into the other boy, but he holds himself back. He doesn't want to push.  


When they reach the campus, he expects Sungyeol to let go of his hand in case people get the wrong idea. Sungyeol has put up a wall between the two of them, right on top of the line between friends and more than friends. He seems to have climbed over it for the time being (if the flirting and hand-holding is anything to go by), but there's no telling when he'll decide to go back to the other side. To Myungsoo's surprise Sungyeol's hand stays in his all through the walk across the campus and up until they get on the elevator.  


"I was starting to think you weren't ever going to let go," Myungsoo jokes despite the fact that he actually misses holding the other boy's hand. He's leaning against one wall while Sungyeol is holding up the opposite one.  


"That was purely for your benefit." Sungyeol's all seriousness and Myungsoo thinks he's trying to convince himself more than anyone else. He seems to be holding himself back, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets with his back pressed up against the cold wall.  


Myungsoo chooses not to say anything as the elevator reaches Sungyeol's floor. He wants to call Sungyeol's bluff, but he doesn't want to corner him by trying to force the truth out of him. He wants Sungyeol to come to him on his own.  


The doors are barely open before Myungsoo squeezes himself through them. Sungyeol follows closely behind him and stops him just as they reach the room. With a hand on his shoulder, Sungyeol backs Myungsoo up against the wall. The younger boy waits on bated breath for the other boy's next move, his hands clenching in fists at his side. Sungyeol brings both of his hands up to hold Myungsoo's face. Later Myungsoo'll be thankful that the hallway had been empty, but at the moment all he can think about is how slowly the other boy is closing the distance between them. His eyes fall shut just as their lips touch and his mouth opens almost immediately. He grabs a hold of the front of Sungyeol's shirt to pull him closer. His mind goes blank as Sungyeol licks his way into his mouth and he savors the taste of his ex on his tongue. He's been waiting for this for so long.  


They finally part for air after what feels like hours. Sungyeol rests his forehead on Myungsoo's, panting against his cheek. His shirt is still in Myungsoo's grip while his hands have dropped down to Myungsoo's shoulders.  


"Was that for my benefit, too?" Myungsoo hasn't opened his eyes yet. He still can't believe what just happened really happened. The sound of Sungyeol's breathless laugh reaches his ears and it brings a small smile to his face. They stay that way for a couple minutes before Sungyeol takes a step back and takes his hands off of Myungsoo's shoulders. Myungsoo's eyes blink open to look up at him and he slowly lets go of his shirt.  


"You should go," Sungyeol says quietly. He meets Myungsoo's gaze evenly with the same seriousness as before.  


"Do you really want me to?" Even now Myungsoo's still patiently waiting for Sungyeol to admit his feelings. The younger boy focuses on the hesitance in his ex's eyes. Sungyeol seems torn between wanting Myungsoo to go and wanting him to stay. Myungsoo tries to make the decision easier by closing the distance between them and connecting their lips again.  


Sungyeol kisses him back eagerly, but it doesn't last long. He pulls away from Myungsoo with a pained expression. "Please go," he begs. He doesn't wait for whatever reply Myungsoo might've given, unlocking the door to his room and slipping inside without a glance back.  


Myungsoo stands in the empty hallway trying to decide if he should be disappointed or not. He ends up in front of Dongwoo's door with that question and many more filling up his mind.

 

  


_Break_  


Sungyeol's starting to think his friends might hate him. Well, maybe not hate, but they're, like, really disappointed. Which is probably worse. Dongwoo's been giving him sad, puppy eyes for the longest time. Sunggyu has his disappointed dad face down to a T. Sungjong and Howon are perfectly in sync with the judging looks they level at him. Woohyun's the only one who doesn't give him looks and is probably the reason why the others haven't already given him a stern talking to. But that's only because he was the first one Sungyeol went to after that night with Myungsoo. He doesn't blame them, though. He deserves it.  


Whatever's going on (or, actually, not going on) between him and Myungsoo is common knowledge within the group and it’s obvious whose side everyone's going to be on. Even if Myungsoo had been the one who screwed up at first, Sungyeol has only made things worse. He’d let his guard down that night, let himself get carried away. After telling himself that the two of them having dinner together wouldn’t mean anything, he’d realized that that wasn’t possible. Not when they still have feelings for each other and Myungsoo doesn't bother to hide it. That had become even more apparent as they were walking back to his dorm. He’d let Myungsoo hold his hand the whole way and held on longer than he should have. And then he went and kissed him. It had been perfect. He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss kissing Myungsoo. The younger boy gives everything when he kisses. Deep or light, there's never been a time that Myungsoo kissed him and Sungyeol didn't feel how much the other loved him and cared for him. He'd even felt it that night, the passion and tenderness was still there. It was everything he'd hoped and waited for and more. And it scared him. It had felt like they were moving too fast; like he was giving in too fast.  


Woohyun had been surprisingly helpful to talk to. (Surprising, because when is Woohyun ever helpful?) His brilliant advice had been that since they both want each other and they know they want each other, there’s no need for Sungyeol to play hard to get. And he doesn't need to take another week or six more months before he finally gets back together with Myungsoo because he's been ready to be with the younger boy for long enough that he should just tell him (and stop making things so needlessly complicated). And somehow, Sungyeol had felt a little better after talking to him.  


It's been just over a month since the Valentine's Day dinner and Sungyeol likes to think things are still the same between him and Myungsoo. The younger boy doesn't seem to have any hard feelings about the way that night had ended. He's still as friendly (and sometimes flirty) as he had been before. Sungyeol can only hope Myungsoo can be patient for a little longer. Just until he works up the nerve to say what everyone else can already see.  


So he's come up with a plan. Okay, maybe it's not so much a plan as a vow to get five minutes alone with Myungsoo no matter what. And this beach trip they're going on for spring break is the perfect way to do that. The seven of them are heading to a beach house owned by one of Howon's uncles for the week. (Sungyeol couldn't stop himself from cracking jokes about Sungjong marrying into a family that could keep him in the manner to which he'd become accustomed.) He hasn’t figured out exactly what he’s going to say to Myungsoo when he finally talks to him, but he’s sure the words will come to him. He doesn’t get the chance to think about it during the car ride, though. Woohyun and Dongwoo prove to be incredibly noisy road trip companions and Sunggyu’s never any fun, but especially when he’s at the wheel. They’d played rock-paper-scissors to decide who was driving in which car. Sungyeol’s now wishing he had tried to convince Myungsoo to fix the game so they could ride together. That would have been much more bearable than having to listen to Dongwoo and Woohyun sing along to the radio at the top of their lungs. Like children on a sugar high, they finally crash after an hour on the highway, passing out in their seats. Sungyeol shares a look with Sunggyu in the rearview mirror. Their friends are so ridiculous.

 

  


_Chance_   


By the end of the first day of their vacation, Sungyeol's lost a good amount of his confidence. He'd had many perfect opportunities to talk to Myungsoo. (Some of which he's pretty sure had been planned by their friends.) The house is huge and full of places one could have a private conversation. But still he'd chickened out every time. It's not that he's scared or unsure of Myungsoo's reaction. More like he's afraid of what will happen afterwards; of what might change and how. He knows nothing has to change. How things are now is pretty much how they had been before he and Myungsoo broke up.  


He winds up wide awake sometime after midnight futilely trying to turn his brain off. He turns from one side to the other, kicks his covers down to the foot of the bed and then pulls them back up over his bare legs. With a huff, he sits up and looks around the dark room. He has it all to himself. A breeze blows in from the open window, bringing in the smell of the ocean. Bypassing turning on the bedside lamp, he gets up from the bed and slips out of the room. The hallway is even darker than his room, causing him to stub his toe at the top of the staircase. His original intention had been to step outside for some fresh air, but the sound of the TV distracts him when he gets to the bottom of the stairs. He heads left towards the living room and stops in the doorway. Myungsoo's sitting on the couch with a tub of ice cream in his lap, the TV illuminating his face. Of course, his stomach never sleeps.  


"That is so unsanitary," Sungyeol says as he scrunches his nose in disgust. The younger boy freezes, his spoon stopping right in front of his mouth. He looks over guiltily at the boy in the doorway. A corner of Sungyeol's mouth pulls up slightly as he walks over to the couch. Myungsoo scoots over to make room for him to lay on the couch. He rests his head in the younger boy's lap, his cheek pressing against the soft fabric of Myungsoo's sweatpants. His boxers ride up as he curls his legs up.  


"Couldn't sleep?" It's more of a rhetorical question, but Sungyeol nods anyway, absently rubbing small circles into the other's knee. Myungsoo sticks the spoon in the ice cream and sets the tub on the coffee table. He starts slowly running a hand through Sungyeol's hair. The conversation ends there for a while. They both turn their attention to the TV as a romantic comedy plays on the screen (Sungyeol's not surprised).  


When a commercial comes on Sungyeol turns to Myungsoo. "I think we should talk," he says. His voice is louder than the TV, almost too loud compared to how quiet the house is. He continues when the other only looks down at him expectantly. "About us."  


"What about us?" Myungsoo speaks carefully with just a hint of hope.  


"Well...you know..."  


"No, I don't. Care to elaborate?"  


Sungyeol pokes Myungsoo in the stomach, making the younger boy jolt. He sighs as he chooses his words. "Do you think...we could...go out some time? Together?"  


A grin spreads across Myungsoo's face. "You mean on a date?"  


"As long as you're paying," Sungyeol answers, rolling his eyes at the ecstatic expression on Myungsoo's face. He's much better at hiding his elation. "Is that a yes?" Myungsoo nods enthusiastically, apparently too happy to speak. He wiggles slightly in his seat, jostling Sungyeol's head. "Hey." Sungyeol gives him another poke in the stomach to regain his attention. "This is the part where you kiss me." Myungsoo doesn't have to be told twice. He leans down and Sungyeol can feel his smile against his lips.  


They settle back down with Myungsoo stretching out behind Sungyeol and wrapping his arms around him. Sungyeol tries to complain about being the "little spoon", but goes quiet when Myungsoo starts kissing down his neck and across his shoulder. That’s not playing fair.  


"I guess it has its upsides," he concedes. His voice cracks on the last word. Myungsoo laughs softly and tightens his hold. The movie’s still going on, but Sungyeol’s forgotten about it. His eyes have fallen shut as he enjoys having Myungsoo so close. Another thing he’s missed. In an hour or so he’ll probably get tired of it, but for now it feels good. He drifts off a few minutes later with Myungsoo warm at his back.

 

  


_Trust_

  


Sungyeol feels a weird sense of deja vu as he sits on the couch at some random house party and watches Myungsoo talking with his friends. The only differences between that first time and now are that Myungsoo isn't drunk and they're together again. That would be comforting if not for the fact that the younger boy is with the same guy he'd kissed before. (For his sanity, Sungyeol tells himself that that's all the two of them have done.) Part of him knows there's nothing to be worried about; he wouldn't have taken Myungsoo back if he didn't trust him. But another part of him remembers that night and the way Myungsoo had pressed his lips to his friend's and how close their bodies were and... And Sungyeol really doesn't like whoever that other guy is.  


As if sensing the glare being aimed at him, Myungsoo's eyes turn to Sungyeol. He excuses himself from the group, confused by the scowl on his boyfriend's face. Sungyeol pointedly looks away as he makes his way over and sits down.  


"Why are you making that face?" Myungsoo is both concerned and amused. Sungyeol likes to act like he doesn't get jealous, like he's above it, but he's so obvious.  


Sungyeol leans back into the couch and crosses his arms. "That wasn't for you."  


"Then who was it for?" Sungyeol nods towards the group Myungsoo had been with. "You're mad at Dongwoo," the younger boy asks with a confused dip of his eyebrows.  


"No, not Dongwoo. Behind him."  


Myungsoo cranes his neck to see around their vertically-challenged friend. "Minhyun?" Sungyeol thinks he should be relieved that there isn't a change in his expression. "What's wrong with him?"  


There's really no need to bring it up now. He's (mostly) over it and it's obviously not a big deal to Myungsoo. But his curiosity (and jealousy) get the better of him. "You kissed him."  


Myungsoo's eyes go wide and he gapes in a way that would be funny in any other situation. "How..." That's all he's able to get out. He goes back to staring at his boyfriend.  


"I walked in on you two at that party."  


Myungsoo's expression changes from surprised to horrified. He scoots closer to Sungyeol, but doesn't touch him. As if he's afraid the other might push him away if he did. "Why didn't you say anything before," he asks.  


Sungyeol shrugs. The party has taken a very different turn than he had expected it to. It was supposed to be happy and fun and yet here they are. "You didn't bring it up, so I didn't think it mattered. And then it really didn't matter." The room they're in is too loud for this conversation. They should be somewhere private.  


"I'm really sorry," Myungsoo sighs as he finally lets himself touch Sungyeol. He takes one of Sungyeol's hands in both of his and he sounds as sorry as he says he is. "It didn't mean anything. For either of us." He makes a vague gesture towards Minhyun. "I didn't tell you because I thought you might change your mind about getting back together with me. There's nothing between me and him, I swear. This...this doesn't change anything, does it?" His expression becomes pained at the thought of Sungyeol having a change of heart. He squeezes the other boy's hand just a little bit tighter.  


"It doesn't," Sungyeol assures him.  


"Are you sure? I'll stop hanging out with him if you want me to." He inches closer, looking more worried than relieved.  


Sungyeol puts his free hand on Myungsoo's knee. The contact seems to finally calm the younger boy down as he leans back into the couch. "You don't have to stop being friends with him just because of me. It's fine." That's not exactly the truth, but he can't take the guilty look on Myungsoo's face. He leans over to press a soft kiss to the other boy's lips. "It's fine," he says again when he pulls back.  


Myungsoo stares at him for a moment as if gauging the truth in his words. He must be satisfied with what he finds because he leans in to kiss Sungyeol again. If Sungyeol's kiss was meant to be reassuring, then Myungsoo's is probably meant to show devotion. At least that's the feeling Sungyeol gets from the way the younger boy's mouth presses firmly against his and how he brings a hand up to cup his cheek. Like he's trying to tell Sungyeol that he loves him and doesn't want anyone else no matter what happened when they weren't together. They part slowly, letting their foreheads press together, and it feels a bit like they're in their own little bubble that the loud music and crowded room can't touch. Sungyeol finds it oddly romantic.  


"You wanna get out of here," he asks. He doesn't feel like being around anyone else besides Myungsoo.  


A small smile makes its way onto Myungsoo's face and lights up his eyes. With his hand still on his boyfriend's cheek he rubs his thumb against the smooth skin. "I'd love to." His words are nearly drowned out by the bass of the new song that's playing, but Sungyeol is close enough to catch them.  


They leave the party hand-in-hand and in their own world. They end up sneaking up to the roof of Myungsoo’s dorm and spending the rest of the night looking up at the stars and exchanging slow kisses with the quiet hum of the city as a soundtrack.


	6. End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda forgot I wasn't done posting all of this yet.

_7:16am_   


Sungjong wakes up with his cheek pressed up against the warm skin of Howon's back. He lays there for a moment, his head moving slightly with the rhythm of the other's breathing, and basks in the simple feeling of being with his boyfriend. It’s been a few days since they moved in and he feels… happy. As simplistic as it sounds, that really is how he feels. The novelty of having Howon so close is still fresh. It’ll probably wear off in a month or two, but for now he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of falling asleep in the older boy’s warm embrace, catching his eye from across the table as they eat, resting his feet in his lap as they sit on the couch watching TV. They’re all little things that before now he would have dismissed as too sappy for him. Even when their friends are around he still feels like it’s just the two of them. (Of course, he doesn’t actually say any of this out loud. The other guys would tease him mercilessly if he did.)  


Howon stirs when Sungjong rolls to lay more firmly on top of him. He groans at the weight and shifts weakly. "What time is it," he mumbles into the pillow. He gives up on trying to shake his boyfriend off.  


Sungjong hums, running a hand down Howon's arm. "Pretty early," he answers softly. Howon groans again. He sounds more awake, but not necessarily happy about it.  


Sungjong picks his head up to look at him. His eyes are still closed. "Can you use actual words? I don’t know what that means." Groaning seems to be Howon's preferred method of communicating. Sungjong rolls off of him to lay on his back. "Are you always such a zombie in the morning," he asks.  


Howon turns onto his other side to face his boyfriend. A sleepy smile spreads across his face as he squints at Sungjong. He brings a hand up to cup the younger boy's cheek. "I guess that's something you'll have to get used to." Sungjong smiles back at him at that and threads his fingers with the ones Howon has against his face.  


“And how long does it take for you to wake up?”  


Howon hums in thought. “Depends on my motivation.”  


“I guess I’ll go take a shower then,” Sungjong says as he sits up, giving the other back his arm. “While you get motivated.” Howon hums again and settles more firmly into his pillow with the intent of going back to sleep. The incredulous look Sungjong gives him is useless considering Howon has his eyes closed. He clears his throat and tries to get his point across again, making his voice louder and more emphatic. “I said I’m _taking a shower_.” When he doesn’t get a response from the other boy, Sungjong scoffs and gets up from the bed. A long “oh” stops him as he gets to the bedroom door. He turns around to face Howon who’s sitting up and squinting at him.  


“You’re taking a shower,” Howon says slowly.  


Sungjong rolls his eyes at him, unimpressed. “Yeah, I am. Are you motivated enough to get up and join me?” The words are barely out of his mouth before the other boy is jumping off the bed, nearly falling on his face from his eagerness. “Why do I put up with you sometimes,” Sungjong mutters as he leaves the room.  


Not long after, Howon shows him exactly why.

 

  


_4:32pm_   


"We should move in together."  


"No."  


Woohyun pouts at Sunggyu from the passenger seat. They're on their way to Howon and Sungjong's housewarming party with the gift Sunggyu bought but Woohyun will claim is from the both of them sitting in the back. "Don't you want my face to be the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see at night?" He gives Sunggyu a wide, doe-eyed look even though his attention is fixed on the road.  


Sunggyu gives him a quick sidelong glance, a mildly disgusted look on his face. "I see enough of your face on a daily basis. Why would I want to see more?"  


Woohyun considers reaching out to punch his boyfriend, but decides he'd rather not cause an accident. He settles for crossing his arms with a huff. Sunggyu's such an ass sometimes. "So you think you'll be fine living by yourself?"  


"I've been doing pretty well so far."  


"That's not the same thing. And it would be cheaper than living on campus."  


They've stopped at a red light, so Sunggyu turns his head to look at Woohyun. "Are you trying to convince me or you?" Woohyun really does reach out and punch him this time. Sunggyu rubs at the sore spot on his shoulder as he laughs.  


"Anyway." Woohyun won't be discouraged by his boyfriend's stupidity. They'd had a similar talk once before and Sunggyu had been more receptive to the idea then (not by very much, though). "I would be able to cook for you," he argues. "You're always complaining about the food in the cafeteria and how you miss your mom's cooking. I could take care of that for you."  


Sunggyu snorts. "I thought we concluded that you definitely can't cook?"  


"Those results were inconclusive." He might have burned a pot beyond repair and overcooked some rice once or twice and nearly severed a few fingers (his own and a couple other people), but that doesn't warrant the title "bad cook". Novice, maybe. He's still learning.  


"Yeah, okay," Sunggyu replies sarcastically. "I'm still waiting for you to convince me."  


Woohyun perks up at that. He shifts closer to the older boy, the seatbelt tight across his chest. "You'd have a lot more privacy. Don't tell me you don't want that." There's a silence in the car then as Sunggyu contemplates. Woohyun watches the wheels turning in his boyfriend's head. He's almost certain he can see the exact moment that one specific thought enters his mind. "What are you thinking about," he asks even though he already knows the answer.  


"Nothing," Sunggyu scoffs, too quickly for it to be the truth. He continues to look at the road even as Woohyun tries to catch his eye. A blush rises high on his cheeks. "Alright, fine, I’ll move in with you. Just stop distracting me.”  


Woohyun forgoes teasing Sunggyu further in favor of beaming at him instead. He waits until they reach another red light before reaching out to pull Sunggyu into a kiss, the smile never leaving his face. “You can’t change your mind later,” he commands him when they pull back from each other. “That kiss was legally binding.”  


“You’re not even a lawyer,” Sunggyu says as he pushes the other boy away. The light turns green and he starts driving again.  


“Technically,” the younger boy admits. He’s sitting comfortably in his seat, a smug grin on his lips and lighting up his eyes.  


Sunggyu snorts. “No, literally. You’ve never taken a law class in your life.”  


“I’ve read stuff. Look, the point is you agreed to live together and I’m going to hold you to it.”  


Sunggyu grumbles to himself, but doesn’t say anything else to his boyfriend. Woohyun doesn’t mind, though. He’s finally gotten what he’s been after.

 

  


_5:17pm_   


There's an uncharacteristic pout on Dongwoo's face as he rings the doorbell of Howon and Sungjong's apartment. He looks down sourly at the gift-wrapped present in his hands.  


"What's with the face?" A long fingernail poking into his cheek makes him look up. Amy's smiling over at him, looking as beautiful as ever. It doesn't do much to brighten Dongwoo's mood, though.  


"Do we have to be here," he whines. He's aware that he's acting very much like a spoiled child, but it's been five months since he's seen his girlfriend and the first thing they do is go to a party full of people they'll have to talk to. It's not fair, damn it. "You just got here and I haven't even gotten to spend any time with you."  


Amy sighs, the exasperated mother to his bratty kid. "We can spend all the time you want together tomorrow. But for tonight, there are other people that missed me besides you and we're going to hang out with them." Before Dongwoo can make another whiny retort, the door finally opens. Sungjong's cheery smile greets the two of them, but only Amy returns it. Dongwoo thrusts the present he'd been holding into the younger boy's hands as he steps into the apartment.  


"It's a toaster," he announces grumpily before stomping away, probably towards the food. The other two watch him go in stunned silence.  


Sungjong turns back to Amy with his eyebrows up to his hairline. "What was that?"  


Amy sighs again. She's starting to think she's going to be doing that a lot tonight. "Apparently my boyfriend has become a five-year-old in the time I've been gone."  


The younger boy gives her a comforting pat on the shoulder as he ushers her through the door. "You should talk to Sunggyu. He'd know all about immature boyfriends. But I think the trick for Dongwoo is to get him drunk and then he'll forget what he was upset about."  


"I think he's way ahead of you with that," she says as they enter the living room. It's already half full with people, but Dongwoo is easy to spot in his slumped position on the couch. There might as well be a dark cloud hanging over him as he sips sulkily from a bottle of beer. A highly amused Myungsoo sits next to him and nods along to whatever he's saying. Yet another sigh escapes Amy's lips.  


Sungjong holds up a fist and gives her his best winning smile. "Be strong!"

 

  


_8:48pm_   


Myungsoo's quiet observation of the neighborhood is interrupted when the door leading into the apartment slides open. He looks back to see Sungyeol stepping out onto the balcony. They share a smile as the older boy joins him at the railing.  


"I was looking everywhere for you," Sungyeol says, his tone neutral. He stands close enough for Myungsoo to rest his head on his shoulder; so he does. Sungyeol's arm comes up to wrap around his boyfriend's shoulders. "This is probably the last place I would've thought to look for you."  


"What's the first?"  


"The kitchen."  


Myungsoo laughs as he smacks Sungyeol's chest. "I don't eat that much."  


"That was the first place you went to when we got here," Sungyeol deadpans. His boyfriend clears his throat, but doesn't say anything to defend himself so he decides to accept the win and change the subject. "Why are you out here anyway?" It's a nice night to be outside; not too hot or too cold. He might just forgo the rest of the party and stay out there with Myungsoo.  


"Just thinking," the younger boy answers slowly. He wraps both arms around Sungyeol's waist, turning to lay his head more firmly on Sungyeol's chest.  


Sungyeol rests his hands on Myungsoo's hips and starts rubbing small circles under the hem of the other's shirt with his thumbs. "About..." He prompts. There's no answer from Myungsoo for a moment. Sungyeol can't tell if he's nervous about explaining himself or if he zoned out from the touching.  


"I like the view here." Myungsoo's voice is quiet, spoken into the fabric of his boyfriend's shirt. "I was thinking maybe we could—one day, you know, in the future—we could have a view like this. Together."  


Sungyeol looks down at the top of Myungsoo's head as he processes the words. When Sungjong and Howon had announced that they would be moving in together, the thought that he and Myungsoo could do that too (that he wanted them to do it) had crossed his mind. But he had chosen to not bring it up just yet. It's different now that he knows Myungsoo wants the same thing. (Different but not surprising.)  


He lifts Myungsoo's head with a hand under his chin so he can see his eyes. "Okay, let's do it," Sungyeol says decisively. The younger boy stares up at him, his eyes big and his expression stunned. "Let's live together."  


"Really?"  


"What, you didn't think it would be that easy?"  


Pulling his arms tighter around Sungyeol, Myungsoo shakes his head. The sheepish look on his face makes Sungyeol realize they've both been worried about the same thing. When they had first gotten back together, the thought that had lingered in the back of Sungyeol's mind was that Myungsoo could change his mind. That he could decide he had been right the first time; that they would be better off without each other. Myungsoo has (unknowingly) done everything Sungyeol hoped he would to ease that doubt. But there's still a part of him that doesn't want to let it go. And now he can see that Myungsoo has the same worry. He's just as afraid of Sungyeol leaving him.  


Sungyeol doesn't know how reassuring he's been so far, but he's going to make sure Myungsoo knows he's not going anywhere. He wraps his arms around Myungsoo's shoulders and pulls him into a tight hug. Myungsoo melts against him, as if all of the tension is leaving his body. They stay like that for a while with the sounds of the party coming through the partially open door and flowing out into the night.  


“Not that I’m not enjoying this,” Myungsoo says quietly. He has his head tucked into the crook of Sungyeol’s neck with his cheek resting just above his collarbone. “But what are we doing exactly?”  


Sungyeol sighs with feigned annoyance. “Well, I was trying to be romantic, but you ruined it.”  


“Why are you being romantic?”  


“Because… I love you.” Myungsoo’s head shoots up, giving him another wide-eyed look. It’s the first time he’s said those words since they started dating again. It never stopped being true between their breakup and now, but he still feels exposed. Especially since the other hasn’t said anything yet. “Uh, this is the part where you say ‘I love you, too’.”  


That snaps Myungsoo back to the moment. He leans in (and Sungyeol meets him halfway) to connect their lips. And it’s almost like the very first time they’d professed their love for each other. Their mouths convey their feelings both through words and actions. It feels like it’s too soon when they break apart for air, but then Myungsoo says the words that make it worth it.  


“I love you, too.”

  


_Later_   


The first couple of pictures Myungsoo takes are candid with Sungyeol stretched across the couch in Howon and Sungjong's living room. He has an arm hanging off the couch while the other is behind his head. Myungsoo likes the way Sungyeol's new haircut makes his face look. (Actually, he likes Sungyeol's face no matter what.) Sungyeol turns his attention away from the TV when he notices the clicking of the camera. He starts making faces as Myungsoo continues snapping pictures. He goes through a number of stupid and sometimes ugly expressions while maintaining a casual pose.  


From his sprawled position on the floor, Myungsoo takes the camera away from his face to look at the other boy directly. "You're just asking for me to post these for everyone to see."  


"I don't see how that's a threat."  


"Because you look good in every picture?"  


Sungyeol beams at him and Myungsoo feels the urge to kiss him until he's breathless crash into him so suddenly it makes him dizzy. He settles for snapping a couple more pictures instead. Sungyeol's gummy smile looks just as radiant through his camera lens. "I do," Sungyeol agrees, turning onto his side. "And every side is my good side."  


Myungsoo snorts. "You sound like Woohyun." Sungyeol doesn't have anything to say to that because, really, that is something Woohyun would say. He goes back to kind of watching the TV while Myungsoo looks through the pictures he just took. The sound of the cheesy weekend drama currently playing fills the room along with the hum of the air conditioner. (That's the main reason why they're there; they can stay cool while also bumming around and not get nagged at for it—well, not as much.) Howon and Sungjong’s voices flow in from the kitchen. They’re supposed to be cooking, but it sounds more like they’re both equally lost but trying to hide it from each other.  


When the show goes on commercial Sungyeol clears his throat and glances at his boyfriend. Myungsoo is focused on his camera, his tongue sticking out slightly from concentration. "So—" Sungyeol clears his throat again when his voice cracks. Myungsoo looks up at him with innocent curiosity. "Do you remember what you said back at the housewarming party?"  


"Am I supposed to?"  


The show is on again, but Sungyeol isn't paying attention. He lays on his back and looks up at the ceiling. There's a nervous flutter in his stomach that he knows is irrational. He has nothing to worry about; Myungsoo will be more than happy after hearing what he has to say. "Remember that you said you wanted a view like the one here?" Myungsoo doesn't answer, either because he knows what Sungyeol's trying to say or he's waiting for it. So he continues. "I know we haven't talked more about it since then, but I was talking to Howon and he told me the place next door is empty. It's kind of sudden, I guess, but we could take it if you want."  


The TV fills up the silence between them again. Sungyeol wants to see Myungsoo's expression, but his nerves won't let him. This is such a big step for them; albeit, one that he had always imagined them taking together. He doesn't realize Myungsoo has moved until he's kneeling next to him. When Sungyeol finally looks at his face he sees a wide grin pulling at Myungsoo's lips. "Is that a yes," he asks.  


Myungsoo nearly pulls him off of the couch in his excitement as he wraps his arms around Sungyeol. His face is pressed into the crook of the older boy's neck. "Of course that's a yes," he says against Sungyeol's cool skin. It's not likely that Myungsoo will let him go any time soon, so Sungyeol relaxes into the soft cushion under him. The younger boy climbs onto the couch with him and lays all of his body weight on him. Sungyeol is only half-joking when he wheezes for breath; he's too skinny for this. With his camera lying forgotten on the coffee table, Myungsoo makes himself comfortable on top of his boyfriend while Sungyeol feels himself sinking deeper and deeper into the couch cushion. He considers pushing the other boy off of him, but pauses when the thought that this is going to become a permanent thing hits him. He knows Myungsoo won’t always be _right_ next to him or on top of him; the other knows when to be considerate of personal space. And while he’s gotten used to his boyfriend’s clingy nature, being in even closer proximity is going to mean more touching and more holding and just more Myungsoo. Which he’s actually pretty excited for because Sungyeol likes touching and holding and Myungsoo ( _especially_ Myungsoo). So he lets the younger boy stay where he is (and based on how much heavier he feels he’s almost completely sure Myungsoo’s fallen asleep). The air conditioner continues humming while the drama plays on the TV and their friends’ voices float into the room and Sungyeol can’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be.


End file.
